LIVING WITH BOYS

I'm a little worried...
every time I go to sit down: corn dog sticks, stinky socks, hidden candy wrappers appear everywhere in the couch. Worse things are on other seats. Yikes.
I'm a little worried...
to see that the boys' bathroom still has soap in the same dispenser that has been there for months. I've gone through three in the same amount of time.
I'm a little worried...
that when I encourage the boys to make wise decisions, they go sledding in the dark. Or build snow ramps off our porch, complete with old trampoline bars for the "advanced track." They did, however, tie mattress pads around the tree for safety. At least there's that.
I'm a little worried...
that to each male in this house, snow=donuts.
I'm a little worried...
that donuts=inhaled snack. Two dozen down in two minutes or less.
I'm a little worried...
about the smell emanating from the basement.
I'm a little worried...
about the noises emanating from anywhere on their bodies...including armpits. How do they do that?
I'm a little worried...
that they are going to change. Sooner than later they are going to leave me. I'm a little worried I am going to have a very clean, very quiet, very boring time without them.

TRAVELING

The fam left this morning to visit Awesome Dude and Grandma Gay. Also visiting are uncles, aunts, cousins, and Michael's true love, Sadie the dog. We arrived around 7pm, after a very long day spent on snow blown roads. Michael's professional driving skills kept us safe and sound despite the harrowing highways, and a book called "A Girl Named Zippy" kept us giggling and well entertained despite the seemingly endless hours in the car. We arrived without incident, however (unless you want to count having to take Sadie outside to the bathroom in 1 degree, windy, white-out weather as an "incident"), so let the partying begin! As I write, the partying continues downstairs, as people play games, watch television, sing to Colin's guitar playing, and try to win baby Anne's attention and affection. My cold and I are going to bed, however, and looking forward to the celebration of health and strength and daily food...tomorrow.

UNDRESSED

I just had Parent/Teacher Conferences...all with my zipper down.

If that doesn't say "Competence," I don't know what else would.

EATING THE DECOR

I sprinkled a handful or two of these pumpkin candies on a table in the hallway. I thought they looked darling. Joshua's friends apparently thought they looked delicious. I heard them crunching their teeth on the stale, hardened candies they swiped on their way outside to play. "How old are these?" someone asked. And then my favorite: "Do these hurt your teeth, too?" Ha! Serves 'em right for eating my decorations. The funny thing is, there was a whole bowl of candy--fresh and still in their wrappers--around the corner on the kitchen counter. I guess they just didn't look as pretty!

LATE

Midnight on a Friday.
Michael is on the roof stringing Christmas lights.
Lane is out with friends seeing their high school's production of "Annie." At midnight?
Joshua is asleep on the couch, "watching" some movie (little does he know that I just switched the channel to HGTV).
I, besides hi-jacking the television, have just finished switching laundry loads, wiping up bathroom counters, filling the dishwasher, and stapling a million and two papers into manila folders.
Midnight on a Friday. Looks like a great start to the weekend, huh? I can hardly wait for the rest of it!

EVEN OLDER

Today is the J-boy's 12th birthday.
I just got even older.

Take a look at him as he got older...

Turning 6.

Turning 8.

Turning 10.

Turning 11.

I can't wait to see what 12 is like!

QUANDARIZED

A part of the challenge in which Michael, Joshua, and I are participating in entails the avoidance of sweets: no desserts, no pastries, no candy, and no sugary snacks. So, what am I to do about the scene in "A Christmas Carol" in which I HAVE TO EAT TREATS? The props guy is putting sweet little edibles on the table for me to consume. I wonder if celery sticks would work in exhange?

Oh! I've figured it out: nowhere, I say nowhere does it say we can't have COOKIES!!!!

The show, and me, are saved!

AFFIRMING

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." --Mark Twain

Me, too! I am definitely one of those "Words of Affirmation" love language-ers.
I just got home from rehearsal for "A Christmas Carol." It is my sixth or seventh year doing the show, so you'd think I've probably got this down. Yet I still find myself wanting to hear that I'm doing things right. I'll hear a laugh and wonder, "Was that for me?" I'll see a grimace and think, "What did I do wrong?" Pretty selfish and needy of me, I know. But very honest of me to tell you.
And let me tell you, you look very nice today; monitor glow suits you. And you have such a good sense of humor, reading and laughing at my blog like this. And a tender heart, caring about all I have to say. I also think that you have a lot of patience, waiting as you did for me to write again. I just really think you're an all around great person to have around. You really make me feel good. Keep up the good work!

A MISSIONARY'S MOM

Q: Do you know why this picture makes me laugh so hard?
A: Because, if I recall correctly, I once upon a time thought missionaries were so mature.

Q: Do you know why this picture freaks me out so much?
A: I am freaked out on so many levels when I look at this, but what really bothers my mother-heart is that Evan was able to be this goofy, even in what must have been minutes (60 or less, I'm guessing) from surviving a very real disaster (please do not confirm my suspicions that their car is, indeed, facing into oncoming traffic).

Q: Do you know why this picture makes me tear up?
A: Because every single one of those men wearing white (suit coat or no, tie or no, recent convert or no) has the very real opportunity to change his life, all because of Jesus Christ. And so do I. So do you. No matter the circumstances, no matter the distance between where we are and where we really want to be, our Savior wants to do exactly what that title entails: save us. Whether it be from heartache, unhappiness, confusion, or consequences, Jesus Christ provides the way for us to be changed into our best selves. It may take waiting. It may take work. It may take a while, but, at least speaking for myself, it's lovely to be on my way. Just thinking about it touches me to my tear ducts. I'm glad to know it touches others, too. Just like this picture shows. Just like maybe it's touching you, too.

SINGING THEME SONGS

There is some movie out there (probably at Red Box, because where else does my family go to get movies?) about Robin Hood that Joshua keeps talking about wanting to see. I couldn't help but laugh as he was talking on and on about this movie and then stopped to ask, "Who is Robin Hood, anyway?"

Who is Robin Hood? Who is Robin Hood? How can it be that my own child doesn't know about this iconic character of a hundred and two classic tales, one of the all-time best Disney animations, and the movie with that heart stopping theme song, "Everything I Do...I Do It For You"? Where have I gone wrong?

I felt greatly relieved as recognition dawned on him after only a few moments of explanation. "Oh, yeah," he said, nodding his head with understanding. "He's that guy that takes from the rich and gives to the poor." And then, the clencher:

"I guess he's kind of like Obama."



Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly what a day...

HAP2BME

I saw the above title today on somebody's license plate. Sadly, it wasn't my car license plate, because NOW I REALLY, REALLY WANT IT, and someone else thought of it first. But what a wonderful phrase: happy to be me. And, you know what? I am. I'm happy to be who I am, where I am, doing what I am, and (generally speaking) learning the things I am. It is a nice place, that HAP2BME. I hope I can stay for awhile.

Other happy things I read today include the two fortune cookie messages (happy free sweets day to me!) I got at the Chinese Gourmet while out celebrating Joshua's upcoming birthday. Cookie number one said, "Your nurturing instincts will expand to include many people." Granted, I wasn't overly excited over a message that seems to presage more work for me...So I called the waiter over and asked for another chance. I dug around in his fortune-cookie basket until my fingers touched what felt like true treasure...and what do you know? Cookie number two (the one the waiter said doesn't actually count, but what does he know?) caused me to shout out loud for joy. Indeed, the fortune-cookie gods do know and love me! "A new pair of shoes will do you a world of good." Yes sirree, Bob, I do agree.

Speaking of the Chinese Gourmet, or rather, of going out for Joshua's birthday, or rather, of Joshua today, he has had a bit of a headache. While working outside with Michael this morning, he complained the whole time about his head hurting. Michael told him to go inside and take something for his headache, which Joshua eventually did. Reading the packaging on the medicines, he discovered one that said it was for headaches. Sinus headaches, that is, but all Joshua paid attention to was that it was for headaches. The said medicine was Benadryl. And, as noted on the packaging, it did indeed make Joshua drowsy. He was one very out of it boy all during dinner. But his headache was gone!

He was finally awake enough by the time we got home to be able to read some scriptures with me. We have been working on the final parts of his Faith in God booklet, and needed to read about the restoration of the Aaronic Priesthood. What a wonderful experience it was to hear him read, to listen to him summarize, to hear him apply what these things mean to him. Of particular note was when we discussed how our personal talents can be used to help other people feel Christ's love for them. I asked Joshua about this and his examples surprised me. He told me, for example, that the way Evan speaks will help other people know about Christ because they will have to really listen to him to know what he is saying. He said that Lane being friendly will help other people know about Christ because they will know that someone thinks they are important. And he said that because he likes to go to church it will help others feel Christ's love because they won't have to struggle to get him to go to church or to listen when he is there.

That boy has got some insight. He, along with his brothers and dad, most assuredly make me HAP2BME, because I get to be part of their world. Even better than new shoes. (Usually)

BORING

Here's what I did today:

Woke up.

Read scriptures.

Laundry.

Dishes.

More dishes.

More laundry.

Went to the gym.

Worked on grades at school.

Worked on grades at school.

Worked on grades at school.

Filled glue bottles at school.

Worked on grades at school.

Picked Joshua up from a friend's house.

Took Joshua to his guitar lesson.

Changed the laundry.

Took Joshua back to a friend's house.

Made dinner.

Worked on grades at home.

Did more dishes.

Worked on grades at home.

Went to rehearsal.

Came home.

Picked up Joshua from a friend's house.

Remembered about this blog.

Thought about my boring day.

Yeah, you wanted to know all about it, didn't you...

If nothing else, your day just became way more exciting.

It's my gift to you, because I'm giving like that.

And now I'm giving up and going to bed.

COURAGEOUS

Today I read The Red Badge of Courage. Again. That was my third time. And finally I think I understand why it's considered a classic (It was the Mom's parting words to her son that hooked me and made this a relatable story to me; sob, sob). Finally, a book considered "classic" that I can actually agree should be a classic. Actually, there are lots of them, but I always get hung up on books such as these: Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, Moby Dick, Lord of the Flies, Catcher in the Rye, Call of the Wild. Who makes these lists, anyway? Who really is in charge here?

Well, as we learn in school, "I am in charge of me." So, I'm going to be in charge of my own classic novel list and if I ever need a blog topic in the next 7 weeks of this challenging challenge, I'll let you know what they are. I promise, it won't have The Old Man and the Sea anywhere on it.

SLEEPY

What I want now, more than anything, is bed. I don't even think I have enough staying awake power for a moment or two with Jamie and Claire. (Outlander fans, I know you know what I'm giving up.)

There. I wrote.
(Do I get my challenge point?)

What? In good conscience I can't say that counts? Stupid challenge. Stupid conscience.

Stupid me. I cannot think of anything to post.

Wait, just a minute....(searching, searching, searching...)

(random picture, taken by Sawyer)

That ought to keep you up at night. And really want to try my favorite hair products.
(I'll be sleeping, though. ZZZZZzzzzzzz) Good night!

A BIG FAT LIAR

Do you know Peter Breinholt? Well, he knows me, and he also knows I'm a big fat liar!

For each show at the Hale Centre Theater, the performers fill out a bio form which is then sent to some bio putter-together-er for the program.

After several same-sounding descriptions of myself and my life, I decided to make it just a touch more personal...with a lie.

So, from the bio of one program you would have learned that I love to travel and attend time share presentations. From another, that I am a sports enthusiast. Or, that I enjoy snowshoeing in the deep woods, and hiking in for a long winter's camp. Pretty entertaining stuff, really. I even mentioned that I love nothing more than ironing all my family's clothes (particularly their undies! I didn't really say that...but it would be as true as the rest of my entries!).

It's all fun and games until somebody believes you, right?

So imagine how NOT funny it was when a dad (Peter) came to me last year requesting my help in picking out and training a dog for his son. They had been trying to convince Mom that a dog was a good thing when, lo and behold, the young son read in my bio that I am a dog trainer! (Not exactly a lie, really, considering how many dogs I've tried to train. I should have written that what I really am is a failed husband trainer!). I had to fess up to my fib, and felt pretty badly about it, too.

Not bad enough to change my ways, though. I wonder who I'll scar this year with the reading of my program bio?

UNABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT...

A favorite former neighbor came visiting at church today. She had her hair cut all cute and fancy, and looked absolutely adorable. (Yes, Nat, this means YOU!).
She asked about my favorite short-hair hair products, which got me thinking all through church about all my other favorite things, like eyeshadow and lipsticks, shoe shopping and clearance racks. It was a very spiritual day. All that spiritual soul searching seemed to go right along with something I read for Sunday School today:

"And when thou art spoiled, what wilt thou do? . . . Thou clothest thyself with crimson, though thou deckest thee with ornaments of gold, though thou rentest thy face with painting, in vain shalt thou make thyself fair. . ." Jeremiah 4:30

Hmmm...in vain, huh? Hmmmm....
Still, knowing that truly meaningful things are meant to be shared, here is an it's-just-about-time-for-me-to-crash-into-bed-list of my very favorite things. Vain efforts and spoilage notwithstanding...

For the Head:

For the Eyes:

For the Lips:

For the Mouth:

For the Ears:

For my Closet:

For my Sanity:

For my Heart:

Perhaps it's not all worthless stuff, after all...

FAILED

When all else seems to be failing...

• go to the SYTYCD concert. IT WAS SOOOO AWESOME!!!! Oh, how I love my Robert and Kent...
• read/listen to "The Outlander." Again. Oh, how I love my Jamie.
• be married to Michael. Oh, how I love my husband.
• receive a homemade bracelet from a second grader. Oh, how I love my second graders.

Yes. All is well.

CONSCIENTIOUS

I got this note from a darling little boy in my class. It made me smile, because the sentiments are so sweet. It made me laugh, because before finishing his labor of love, the artist/author came up to me, looked me in the eyes and said, "I just want to know exactly what your eyes look like."

Brown marker dots: he got it just right.

I'm trying not to judge myself by the misspellings or, more particularly, the question mark at the end of his sentence.

But today, after finding out that yet another distressed parent wants to come in and observe my class and talk to the principal about their findings, I am putting a question mark of my own on my abilities.

Someone did tell me, though, that I'm conscientious. That's something.

And I do have lovely brown eyes.

SPOOKED, III

Imagine the terror in our parents' hearts of hearts when we looked up from our comfy couch to see Lane walking in the door dressed like so...

The fact that he looked so good dressed in a girl's cheer leading outfit did nothing to make us feel better.
Nor did finding out that he'd just been out for ice cream with a bunch of friends, all of them dressed like this...

Perhaps this is why it's so often asked, "Parents, do you know where your kids are?"
Well, we knew Lane was at a Powder Puff football game, one of the Homecoming traditions at his high school, but he told us he was the coach--not part of the cheer squad!

I hope the girls played football better than the boys cheered, because this was Lane's prize for his adventures in girl clothes:

a broken finger.

He was kicked by one of his fellow cheer-ers, and after much pain and four screws and a plate in his finger later, this was Lane, post-op. He was groggy and gross, throwing up every time he moved.

This is Lane pre-op.



Oh, yes. There are times he terrifies me! Mostly, though, he just makes me laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. Then we laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh...

SPOOKED, II

Lane turned 18 last week.

Happy Birthday, Lane!

His good friend aided and abetted me in throwing a grand surprise party for Lane.

Another good friend offered him a very special birthday gift: a kiss from three different girls.
All Lane had to do was stand there--blindfolded--and graciously accept his gift.
All he then had to do was guess who each girl was.

This is Lane after finding out that I was Contestant #2.

I have to admit, I was a little freaked out by it, too.

Creepy.

SPOOKED

I shan't be clever, I shan't be quaint.
I'm only blogging to earn my paint (er...point).

Dearest Linessa of the "If You're Going To Do Something, Do Something Well" realm has invited me, along with several other participants/contestants to better ourselves through an 8 week Holiday challenge. One of the requirements is to write in one's journal/blog each day.

Hence, I'm blogging.

But not well.
I'll just fill you in on the latest of our lives...

Saturday night, for all intents and purposes, was Halloween around here. Joshua went trick-or-treating with some friends (no grown-ups allowed). When he came to school dressed for the Halloween Parade, he was attired in ski clothes and shorts with a naked bum attached, and was (in case you couldn't guess) a ski-bum. To go out Saturday night, though, he was first a clown, then a skeleton, and then left as a ski bum. He returned shortly afterwards, however, to change yet again, this time into a Rastafarian. Whatever that is. He was gone all night, though, so whatever he was, he was having a good time being it.
Lane party-hopped the whole night dressed as...Lane. I did see him in costume the night before when he went to a football game. He was (drum roll, please) a Rastafarian.
I was Rapunzel. Not even a Rastafarian Rapunzel.

I was Rapunzel, that is, until the wig I had painstakingly made out of 6 skeins of yarn gave me a huge headache, a kink in my neck, and partial deafness (I couldn't hear underneath all that yarn). Five days to make the wig. Five minutes 'til it was off my head.

Michael was, as ever, beastly. More specifically, he was in his Halloween-means-but-one-costume-for-the-rest-of-my-life gorilla get-up.

Evan was a Mormon missionary.
Evan was a Mormon missionary who got into a car accident.

He is okay, and was truly protected from what could have been a genuine horror for all of us. We got the scary phone call from the Mission President's wife on Saturday night, just as we were leaving to go to a Halloween party ourselves. Needless to say, we were a little late, and not a little bit shaken. But all is well, for which we are immensely grateful to our Heavenly Father.

A perfect time to move into the Thanksgiving season! No more spooks for me, thank you very much.