WARNING: This post is inappropriate. Dana, stop reading NOW!
Last night at dinner we sat and discussed the parent teacher conferences I had just attended for Lane. I complimented him on his extremely good grades and the praise and smiles I received from each of his teachers, including his seminary teacher who is often times driven to distraction by Lane's antics (i.e. bringing in a lighter and burning things in class--"to help everyone understand Alma 14 better," filling his teacher's water bottle with vinegar, breaking in to his teacher's office and putting post-it notes with smiley faces over each framed photograph, etc., etc...).
"But, Lane," I mistakenly went on to say, "No matter how awesome you truly are, I still wish you would wear a belt with your pants. I am tired of seeing your undie-tundies all the time."
"You mean this?" Lane asked, as he stood and pulled his pants down further.
"Or this?" at which point he mooned me.
THEN...
Just when I thought I at least had Joshua to give me hope...
Joshua came in to Michael's office declaring that he was,
"So masturbated."
"What did Joshua just say?" I queried my equally stunned husband.
"I'm pretty sure he said what you think he said," was Michael's amazingly calm reply.
Seeing our dazed and concerned looks, Joshua quickly asked,
"What? What did I do? What did I say?"
"Tell us what you meant just now," Michael requested.
"Oh...(pause, pause, pause) I think what I meant to say was, 'exasperated.' Did I just say something bad?"
We laughed, and I told him he should maybe stick to saying he was frustrated.
Joshua came in to Michael's office declaring that he was,
"So masturbated."
"What did Joshua just say?" I queried my equally stunned husband.
"I'm pretty sure he said what you think he said," was Michael's amazingly calm reply.
Seeing our dazed and concerned looks, Joshua quickly asked,
"What? What did I do? What did I say?"
"Tell us what you meant just now," Michael requested.
"Oh...(pause, pause, pause) I think what I meant to say was, 'exasperated.' Did I just say something bad?"
We laughed, and I told him he should maybe stick to saying he was frustrated.
I'm afraid that because we are (obviously) such a naughty, ribald family you may not want to a) come visit, b) say that you know us, or c) read this blog anymore. We are oh so R-rated.
I will miss you greatly, but I'm pretty sure I'll still be chuckling.
5 comments:
Hilarious! I am glad to call you my friend.
Ha ha, love it! Reminds me of a time in college when my very innocent roommate got mixed up with the same word while talking about her elementary school's maturation program. Poor girl never lived it down. : )
im dying. that is hilarious!
I did read the whole thing and even sent it on to Rob to laugh at.
Even though I laughed when you shared the stories the first time, I chuckled again reading them. Golly, I wish I'd been there!
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