REPENTANT

This morning I made a big mistake. I changed the blue ink in the printer (not the mistake) and walked across the new black and white rug in Michael's office to throw the ink cartridge away. That was a huge mistake, and caused a major problem. The ink dripped on my way across, and the rug was no longer just black and white. And although blue is a nice color, blue spots where they're not supposed to be can only lead to one reaction: pure horror.
I hurriedly pulled out the best piece of equipment that I ever bought, my Hoover SteamVac Jr. It is a portable steam cleaner for carpets, and it has saved me from many a messy predicament before. I heated the water, poured in the cleanser, blotted and soaked, and scrubbed like a crazy woman. Eventually the spot came clean.
I was immediately reminded of an analogy for repentance that we often used as missionaries. It went something along the lines of imagining the horror of showing up to a party with a stain on your clean white blouse. Truly this is something that everyone normal Japanese person would shudder over. And surely any of us would shudder to think of showing up in the presence of our Heavenly Father or Savior, Jesus Christ, with the stain of sin on ourselves. Actually, that's not really the worry, since we wouldn't be allowed in His presence anyway.

"... for the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance."
Alma 45:16
"For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance..."
Doctrine and Covenants 1:31

Thank goodness, and the Lord, for the gift of repentance in His great plan for us.

"Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven..."
Doctrine and Covenants 1:32
"Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more."
Doctrine and Covenants 58:42
"Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool."
Isaiah 1:18

Or even if they're blue as ink, with a little bit of work (repentance), my rug can be white as snow. Hurray!
So here is some of what I learned while trying to "repent" on my carpet. First of all, listen to that still small voice inside of you. Yeah, the one that said, "You should probably put your hand underneath the cartridge before you walk across this new white rug." Obviously, I didn't listen, but what a world of hurt it would have saved me from if I only had! I think of other times that I have had such tiny little inclinations. Did I always listen? No. Do I know the consequences. Not always. But today I saw it immediately. Listen, listen. And then ACT!
Since I was busy cleaning up my mess when it was time to walk Joshua to school I had to send him on his way, alone. That's not really a big deal. He is a big boy and all, but it is something that we do and enjoy everyday together. Today I had to miss it because I was fixing a mistake. How many other small but precious moments have I missed along the way because I had to take care of some problem? Yes, you can choose your actions, we tell the boys, but you don't always get to choose the consequences. Nor can you foresee them all. And there are times that one choice, such as not putting my hand under the ink cartridge, precludes getting to make another choice, like getting to walk to school with Joshua. So don't just act, act wisely.
I ended up scrubbing and blotting, and blotting and scrubbing for such a long time. The effort and time necessary to clean up this one little spot was completely disproportionate to the the time it took to goof up in the first place. Learn that lesson well, Keri.
I also found it interesting to note the necessity of water (baptism) and heat/fire (the Holy Ghost) in cleaning up my mess. Without them that stain would have been set in with no way whatsoever to remove it.

"The full benefit of forgiveness of sin through the Savior’s Atonement begins with repentance and baptism and then expands upon receiving the Holy Ghost. As Nephi said, baptism is the gate, “and then cometh a remission of your sins by fire and by the Holy Ghost.” The baptismal gate opens the way for additional covenants and blessings through priesthood and temple blessings."
"Born Again," President James E. Faust

I make so many messes in my everyday life, with unkind words or thoughts, with bursts of anger, with poor choices in my use of time or money, with things I should have done but forgot, and the list could go on and on. The stains would set in and spoil so much if there were no solution for cleaning up the problem. Thankfully there is repentance.

"Most of the time, repentance does not involve dramatic changes. Rather, it involves small, often daily changes that move us in the direction of godliness."
Visiting Teaching Message, November 1998

And, thankfully, there is a chance each Sunday to renew my baptismal covenants with the Lord as I partake of the Sacrament.

"We are commanded to repent of our sins and to come to the Lord with a broken heart and a contrite spirit and partake of the sacrament in [keeping our part of] its covenants. When we renew our baptismal covenants in this way, the Lord renews the cleansing effect of our baptism. In this way we are made clean and can always have His Spirit to be with us."
"The Sacrament and Repentance," Elder Dallin H. Oaks

I learned a lot from my little ink episode. I found that I had to clean the underside of the rug, too, in order to get rid of the stain that showed on the outside. How important it is to "cleanse the inner vessel" first. Otherwise, the stain will just keep reappearing. I also know that I will have to watch that spot more closely now, because after all the soap and rubbing, that area will be more susceptible to picking up dirt and looking dingy. When we've got our weak spots, those are the places we most easily fall prey to messes and mistakes that make us dirty and dingy, too. Additionally, I found that once I started cleaning that one spot, it began to make the surrounding areas look a little more dirty by comparison. I would suppose that is how it is with us, as well; that once we start to clean up one little area of our lives we see more places that could use some improvement, too. The natural man in me thinks that is a blessing with a curse. Fix more so you can fix more...it is a never ending process!
To illustrate, just when I thought I had taken care of the problem, I found another spot in a different area of the rug. This spot was easier to clean up, not because it was any smaller or the ink was any less indelible, but because I had already had the experience of cleaning the first spot. One of my dad's favorite quotes comes to mind: “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased"-- Heber J. Grant. I don't think it should ever be easier to repent. That's not what I am saying. But it should be easier for us to begin the process, and to believe in its power. With the second spot I knew to start underneath first. I knew to use a stronger solution. I knew to keep working at it, even when it seemed hopeless.
There will be times that things seem hopeless. There will be mistakes made, and messes that have to be cleaned up. Sometimes they're not even our own messes, or in any way, shape, or form, our fault. But the Lord has given us a way. He has atoned for our mistakes, messes, and many sins. And He has done it for those who sin against us, as well. We can repent and we can become clean again. I am ever so grateful for that gift, and for the lessons revisited today from some ink spilled on a rug. I hope I will make good use of the reminder. And I hope the ink stays gone! No one but you and me ever needs to know what happened...