MEAN

On our way home from Lindsay's house tonight, Lane told me that I am mean. Well, he didn't say it like that, exactly. Instead he said that I always glare at him and give him the evil eye. He told me that I treat him differently from the other two boys, always giving them whatever they want, but never letting him have or do anything. He said that I never listen to him because I do things like make him stop talking when he puts other people down (which he has to do, he explained, in order to make himself feel better about himself. He has low self-esteem, you see, because I am always giving him the evil eye, treat him worse than his brothers, and don't listen to him).
I would probably be more concerned about this, except that:

• I said practically the same things to my mother when I was Lane's age.


• Joshua told me yesterday that I treat Lane better than I treat him.


• Evan said, "I used to feel that way, too." And now he's nice.


• I really am mean.

Even with my evil eye, I have been able to notice a few things about Lane. He is a very good looking kid, and one apparently blessed to be able to go through adolescence without the gangly awkwardness that seems to plague most teenagers. Not only is he physically beautiful, he is physically talented. He excels at anything athletic, and does it with finesse. Lane is also absolutely charming, and has a definite flair for entertaining people with his antics and sayings. Lane is fantastic with little kids. They clamor to be with him. Lane is a fun friend. We will soon have to install another phone line just to accommodate all the calls he gets from other teens, girls and guys alike, wanting to hang out with him. Lane wants to help his friends. He was willing to give up an afternoon of fun, food, and games at Lindsay's house today so that he could go to our home ward and make sure his friend showed up and stayed at church. And, Lane smells good. He has, after all, been wearing deodorant since kindergarten. Lane is special, unique, fun, and frustrating. I love him. If ever there is a time that he doesn't like having me around, I could just remind him that it's his fault that I'm here at all, since he was the one who first talked to me in church, oh so many years ago, and got his dad to look my way. Thanks, Lane. You're worth keeping around, if only so I can keep being mean for a little while longer.