I wasn't cast in the latest show I auditioned for.
It hurts my heart to tell you that.
It hurts my heart to tell myself that.
Why wouldn't they want me?!
I can't help but wonder...
was it my singing?
was it my dancing?
was it my reading?
was it me?
didn't I smile enough?
did I smile too much?
didn't I comb my hair?
didn't I wear deodorant?
am I too old?
am I too fat?
am I too tall?
am I too short?
am I too me?
Why wouldn't they want me???!!!
(And then the mean side of me asks...
why would they want her? or her? or her?)
Now you know (some more of) how rotten I am.
And that they didn't want me.
Was it because I'm rotten?
Okay. As long as I'm telling all,
I should also let you know that I think that this is a good thing for me, too.
It helps me
not get too complacent or cocky,
not let the theater become quite so all-encompassing,
remember to wear deodorant,
to go to the gym,
and to be happy for her, and her, and her, whoever she may be.
She is going to have a great time doing a show.
And, really, this is not the worst thing that could happen in life.
(After all, my husband could bring home another puppy.)
Besides all that,
I am now freed up to be super soccer mom of the season.
It's a good thing.
Kinda' like that saying,
I should also let you know that I think that this is a good thing for me, too.
It helps me
not get too complacent or cocky,
not let the theater become quite so all-encompassing,
remember to wear deodorant,
to go to the gym,
and to be happy for her, and her, and her, whoever she may be.
She is going to have a great time doing a show.
And, really, this is not the worst thing that could happen in life.
(After all, my husband could bring home another puppy.)
Besides all that,
I am now freed up to be super soccer mom of the season.
It's a good thing.
Kinda' like that saying,
when a door closes, a window opens...
(But let's be real: why would anyone prefer the window to the door?)
4 comments:
I love you! I love that you wrote this. I love how you wrote this. I love that you can still use humor and wit when your sad.
I don't love that you didn't get cast in the play.
I agree with Lindsay. I felt sad for you, especially knowing that you were called back for a lead role. But I also chuckled about you being super soccer mom or, much worse, super puppy mom. But the truth is this is what happens when you audition. Sometimes it goes your way, sometimes not. And many times it not because of any of the reasons you listed. It may be because her or her or her needed the opportunity. And somebody up there knew it. Besides now you can check your Facebook account once in a while.
i was not cast in the show i just auditioned for...i was TOO YOUNG! WHAT?!?!?!?!?
i guess when you cast a 40 year old Christine..it makes Carlotta have to be about 60. which is what they cast.
but i was perfect for the part. :) even at my young age.....
and i agree..i can do some other things! Like hang out with my friends...Like come to see you when you are in Fort Collins instead of having a rehearsal! :) see you SOON!
If you need a reminder to wear deoderant, than we have some bigger issues to cover than not getting cast in a play! I love watching you perform in whatever and wherever so come put on a show here for me - i promise to give you a standing O.
I prefer doors, too. :)
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