IDEAL

Why I am the ideal mother:

I feed my children.

(I didn't say I feed them well.)


I do their laundry.

(And then make them pay me for it.)


I put their stuff away in their room.

(Just like they do: plop, in the middle of the floor.)


I don't let them ruin their socks by playing outside without shoes.

(But they can ruin their feet, if they so choose.)


I play with my children.

(As long as they want to play my way.)


I love their dad.

(Truly, I do.)